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Not much more for me to say now. I just want to enjoy my life.Last I wrote anything here it was day nine. Today is day two hundred and forty eight. So I guess I need to get this all up to date. There is in truth, little to tell. Nene and I are happy. Life has been good. There have been no real surprises. We see John, Susan, Bill and Jass at least once a month. Nene goes shopping with the girls on occasion and they seem to get along even with the huge age difference. She is just their little sister in that way from what I can see.Nene continues to go alone to Flor's grave once a week to place flowers. I am humbled by this.The only surprise for some, was no surprise to Nene, who had every reason to know. It had to do with her appearance. As the months wore on, she got lighter and lighter. Now I want to go on record here and say I do not care for myself. All colors are beautiful. I clearly fell for Nene when she was dark. But I also know how important it is to Filipinas. Nene had never. The apparitions lie where you are always lingering in my periphery, remnants of how we’d come to know each other in the most intimate of ways. Often the spectres flashing into view strike with such clarity I have to question if you weren’t just a figment of my imagination all along.These vestiges of you are imprinted in everything. I hear the sweet timbre of your voice, softly singing as we danced together in the moonlight. I smell your cologne on my pillow, a woody scent that reminds me of the warmer months we will no longer spend entwined. I taste you in every meal we ever made together, the taste of your lips and your skin on the tip of my tongue. I see you in the mirror, brushing the hair off of my shoulders before gently and slowly kissing my neck each evening. I feel you, I just feel you everywhere. I haven’t seen you in weeks but I don’t think you ever really left.These are ghosts of you, and they haunt me; ever present echoes of how effortlessly you slipped into my life…We had.
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